Addressing The Doubts

This blog is one of many reminders of things left unfinished on my to-do list. I just published a post that sat in my draft box for a few…months! I was so motivated to do this project not so long ago. What happened? Well, another P31 OBS has come and gone. I actually debated whether to delete my prior posts about “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” by Lysa TerKeurst. I mean, I never finished the book. And I definitely did not participate in the study enough to write even a single blog post.

Can I do this? Does my participation in these studies even matter? Can I stop procrastinating enough to actually finish the unfinished items on my to-do list? Can I ever grow from the little items and get going to bigger and better places, where God ultimately wants me? Does it all even matter in the end?

Constant doubts.

But then I read something I actually wrote a while back: “But instead of making this a post about beating myself up, I’m turning it into a positive.”

Whoa. I wrote that?

Hmmm. Ok so here’s the positive(s): first, this outlines where I really need to work on my priorities. It’s past midnight and I’m up writing blog posts when I should have been in bed for at least an hour already. Second, I suppose I can look back at this and remember how hard I worked on adding (and hopefully finishing) a new interest to my life. Finally, I can see that sometimes I tend to take on too much and I struggle to get past the minor mistakes I’ve made. It’s ok to do something not so perfectly, because it’s really the progress that counts.

I want to do this, I really do. Now let’s get on with it!

“A Confident Heart” by Renee Swope

“…instead of dwelling on those doubts, we dwell in God’s word…and conquer.” ~ October 9, 2013 by Melissa Taylor

Recipe: Basil Spaghetti With Cheesy Broiled Tomatoes

Between reading “Bread & Wine”, writing my posts, as well as reading posts from other Bloom readers, I stumbled on an older recipe that I absolutely love, but haven’t made in quite a while.

Reasons why this recipe is great? First it’s from Real Simple, so you know it’s quick and easy. It’s also a pasta-based dish. Hello, pasta! And last but certainly not least, it’s super cheesy and tomato-y. Perfect for an easy weeknight night dish.

Over the past year, I’ve become more in touch with health – especially with the foods I consume. Of course, occasionally there are cheat days. But the most important thing I’ve learned is that a gluten-free diet really works for me. I’ll spare you the details and the “trendy” salesperson pitch, but through much experimentation it’s the best health change for me. I’ve had this dish with both regular wheat pasta and with gluten-free pasta and it works great either way.

Basil Spaghetti With Cheesy Broiled Tomatoes (adapted from Real Simple magazine)

Serves 4

Ingredients
12 ounces gluten-free (corn or brown rice) spaghetti
3 large beefsteak tomatoes (about 1 1/2 pounds), each cut into 4 thick slices
3 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for the baking sheet
kosher salt and black pepper
8 ounces fresh mozzarella, grated
1/4 cup grated Parmesan (1 ounce), plus more, shaved, for serving
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper (I tend to use as little as possible)
3/4 cup torn fresh basil leaves, plus more for serving

Directions
1.Heat broiler. Cook the pasta according to the package directions; drain and return it to the pot.
2.Meanwhile, arrange the tomato slices in a single layer on a lightly oiled rimmed baking sheet. Season with ¼ teaspoon each salt and black pepper. Dividing evenly, sprinkle the slices with the mozzarella and Parmesan. Broil until the cheese is bubbly and golden, 3 to 5 minutes.
3.In a small saucepan, warm the oil with the garlic and red pepper over medium heat until fragrant, 1 to 2 minutes.
4.Add the garlic oil, basil, ½ teaspoon salt, and ¼ teaspoon black pepper to the pasta and toss to combine. Serve topped with the tomatoes, additional basil, and shaved Parmesan.

I love this dish with a glass of merlot. Enjoy!

Julia Child!

“Everything in moderation… including moderation.” ~ Julia Child

Reading “Bread & Wine” by Shauna Niequist, slight mention of The Splendid Table on NPR -> podcast subscription to said program -> newest (at the time, 8/2/13) program, “Julia’s Birthday” -> two trips to Barnes & Noble to find “My Life in France” and the movie Julie & Julia is on its way in the mail -> full on Julia Child obsession!

Proverbs 31 OBS – I’m Behind!

I hate to even admit this, but I’m behind on the OBS. Life and my gift of procrastination got the best of me. But instead of making this a post about beating myself up, I’m turning it into a positive.

Today (well, yesterday since it’s after midnight), I was just getting over one migraine and into another, feeling generally yucky, and somewhat distant from all this OBS stuff. The conference calls were the last thing on my mind, I had so much other stuff to worry about. Well, I am so glad I pushed all that aside and called in anyway. I came away feeling so motivated and encouraged that I don’t even care that I’m behind anymore. My progress doesn’t have to be perfect, I just need to be willing to move.

I’m ready (again)  – but not the “I need to get everything done at this very moment” ready. From past experience, I know that I’ll only burn myself out and get nowhere again. No, this time I’m ready – to take one step at a time. Read the book one page at a time, write a blog post when I feel the push, not becoming overwhelmed. Remain peaceful. And for goodness sake, stop worrying – and just do!

(in)courage Bloom Book Club Blog – “Bread & Wine” by Shauna Niequist (Part 3)

I’m linking this post to the Bloom Community Link-Up!

I’m not even sure how many times I’ve made this chili. It stretches into days and days of leftover meals just for myself. It’s a great comfort meal on cold winter nights. It’s perfect for having a few friends over watching a football game. And most importantly, it’s been the reason for my loved ones stuffed into my tiny, one-bedroom apartment for a friendly, competitive cook-off.

For the longest time, I only made chili in my slow cooker. In fact, I though it was one of the only foods that could be made in a slow cooker. Silly me! Now I make (among many other delicious recipes): this. This. And these.

Needless to say, I’ve grown to love my slow cooker.

Unfortunately, my chili recipe is not available online (at least from where I’ve searched) so all I have is this 5+ year old Suntrust bank magazine clipping. The only adjustment I make is omitting the jalapeno peppers because I don’t like super spicy foods. Otherwise, I think the dish is perfect as the recipe card reads. We’ve eaten this chili by itself and with warm corn bread. It’s also a great tortilla chip topper.

In addition to Shauna’s recipes, I hope to try some of yours as well! Check out my first and second posts on Shauna Niequist’s “Bread & Wine”. Enjoy!

(in)courage Bloom Book Club Blog – “Bread & Wine” by Shauna Niequist (Part 2)

My thoughts, Part 1.

When I think of food & community, I think back to all the past times I’ve personally hosted family and friends, mostly for dinner gatherings. The end result was usually great for me, and hopefully for my guests as well. But the preparation was hard. I’m a high-strung, type-A girl that loves to be prepared for everything. Enough food, enough drinks, enough plates, enough chairs. The “perfect” menu. The “perfect” presentation. While preparation helped of course, I can think of a million details I didn’t need to stress over. I could have let people bring more and do more, while I could have done less.

My favorite memories include many family members and friends stuffed into the living room of my tiny 1-bedroom apartment. Usually I was tired by the time my guests started to arrive. You see, I had (and still have) 2 adorable cats that love to be everywhere (kitchen counters and dining room tables included) and in everything (platters of food, bowls of punch, you name it). So preparation for a party usually meant dragging their kitty equipment into my bedroom and locking them in until my last cat-allergy friend said goodbye for the night. After locking my faithful companions away, I set about cleaning up every possible piece of cat hair. Impossible? Yes. Necessary? Also yes. I feel much better with my furry friends far away from the kitchen anyway, but the pressure of hosting allergic guests usually doubled my stress levels.

It addition to all that, I had to deal with my usual worries about the possibility of giving my guests food poisoning. I triple checked expiration dates, made sure my cutting boards and knives rinsed regularly, and kept raw meat far away from all the other ingredients. Oh yea, and let’s not forget washing my hands approximately 1,000 times. The meat thermometer became my best friend. Seriously.

As you can probably guess, once my apartment was spotless and the (properly cooked) food was set up, I usually felt ready to call it a night!

Instead, I threw on my best hostess face and tended to my guests. Did I want everyone to come over? Yes. Could I have taken it easier on myself? Yes, I know better now. After reading about Shauna’s gatherings, I believe the only requirement is to just be together. A meal just means time spent together, whether it’s over pizza and soda or steaks with fancy side dishes and wine. I usually provided the food while my guests brought their own already prepared items or store-bought treats. But now I’m wondering how much more fun it would have been to have everyone preparing foods in my kitchen, making a lovely mess together, to have loved ones be that familiar with the workings of my kitchen.

All this said, during future gatherings I’m sure it will be scary for me to give up control and just let things happen, let people be that comfortable in my home. But hopefully I remember that spending time eating with loved ones is special enough, no matter what issues arise. The fridge will always make more ice, a pizza place will be open in case food runs out. The important thing is bonding and making memories.

What has God placed on my heart to share with others?

The next Proverbs 31 OBS starts on Sunday. It will be my second study, and this time, I really want to become involved. During my first study only a few short months ago (“Stressed-Less Living” by Tracie Miles) I invited two friends to join along. Together the three of us were super motivated to read and participate. Then real life happened. The book was put down in order to get work done, the near-daily emails were filed away to read “later”, and worst of all there was no attempt to participate in the “blog hops”. I didn’t have a blog, so why bother with those reminders? The idea of starting one seemed overwhelming and I had every excuse you could think of in order to not start one. I didn’t know which hosting website to use… what my blog name should be… what if I have nothing interesting to write… what if no one reads or cares about my blog? The list went on and on.

In preparation for these online studies, I guess you can consider me (really) fashionably late or super early. Either way, I’m doing this. My change of heart happened when I realized how much I was missing out. All the girls had nothing but good things to say about their progress with the study. I didn’t feel the same way. And when I thought about it, I realized I was putting in very minimal effort. Very minimal effort = very minimal results.

Not this time.

Now, back to the title of this post. I read this question earlier today posed by author Lysa TerKeurst and struggled with it for hours. When I think of the answer I’m brought to tears. I moved last year to a new state and I constantly question if I made the right decision. Besides the friends and family I left behind, I just constantly crave the support and encouragement of other Godly women. Phone calls, text messages, and online Bible studies are great, but nothing ever replaces the joy of having a few friends to be able to confide in – in person. The answer is easy, just put myself out there. But the process (at least in my mind) – saying the first hello, extending the first invitation for coffee – is terrifying.

I guess my hesitation to interact both online and in-person needs a lot of work. So, I pray that through reading and participating in this OBS for “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” by Lysa TerKeurst helps me to grow closer to others, while also growing closer to God.

YES! I am doing this!

(in)courage Bloom Book Club Blog – “Bread & Wine” by Shauna Niequist (Part 1)

At the time I’m writing this post, I’m not finished “Bread & Wine” by Shauna Niequist. Why? Well not because I don’t love the book – I do. It’s just that I equate reading a great book to eating a nice meal. Savoring each page, each story as slowly as possible. When we eat fast food or a quick bite to eat, we rush through the meal in order to move on to the next item on our to-do list. But when we take the time to sit, relax, and slowly eat a meal (whether we made it ourselves or not) I believe we enjoy each bite much more.

That’s not to say I’m not jealous of fast readers – sometimes I would love to devour a great book just to know the ending right away! I’ve just become a slower reader over the past few years. For some reason with this book in particular, I find my mind running wild after each chapter. I think of all the dinner parties I’ve hosted and ideas I can incorporate into future parties. I think of all the new recipes I can challenge myself to make. And which ingredients we already have in the house, which ones we need to buy. And I wonder where I’ll be able to buy ones I’ve never heard of (chicken apple sausage?!? sounds delicious!).

Reading late one night (1am-ish), I even jumped out of bed to check the steaks in our freezer. Why? Because I had to know if I could make “Steak au Poivre with Cognac Pan Sauce”. Sadly, we have T-bone, which of course is not any of the 3 cuts she recommends. I know some of you who are way better at cooking than me are probably thinking, just adapt the recipe to allow for what you have! But I am definitely in agreement with Shauna’s advice of following recipes to a T on a first attempt. So we’ll make the T-bones soon and I hope we love them no matter what recipe or cooking method we use. Then for our next steak craving, this recipe is on deck!

So to sum up this part-book review/part-rambling session, I already love this book and I hope you do too. And I hope we’re all able to truly enjoy taking a break from the business of our to-do list world and savor every story and recipe. It’s delicious!

Introduction

I’m a 30-something year old Christian girl who is – in the words of my new favorite author Lysa TerKeurst – making “imperfect progress” in this crazy road we call life.

So, I have a few more things to admit here. First, I’m way new to blogging. I’m sure you can tell that by the bare bones look of this page so far. I’m hoping to make this space an online version of the journaling I already do. Second (or third depending on if you count my journaling as an admission), I am very undisciplined in my journal writing. I am constantly inspired by things in my very ordinary daily life, but the thoughts are stockpiled then slowly but surely I forget all the little details I wanted to write about. In fact, I’ve probably already opened 3 different internet tabs to check other things I had forgotten about until this very moment. When I do finally get around to journaling, I’m ready to explode then write until I’m spent.

Finally, conditions need to be near-perfect in order for me to relax. And relaxing to me means one of these few things: reading, writing, and jogging. For the record, I’ve been equally undisciplined in reading and jogging as well.  Anyway, tonight is one of those “near-perfect” nights inspiring me to write. K-Love’s playing in the background, the windows are wide open as it’s in the mid-60s, there’s a candle burning in our (mostly) clean house. Of course there are a few things on the to-do list that could stand to be done, but I’m finally learning to let go and let myself relax.

What’s leading me to write a blog in the midst of all this rambling ? Well a few things recently have been laid on my heart and mind to write. Mainly, I want to become more involved in the online Bible studies I’m participating in for Proverbs 31 and (in)courage. Sure, the only real requirement is to read the particular book. But I’m tired of taking the easy way out. Why do things if they aren’t beneficial to my personal growth? There are online discussions, assignments, blog hopping… I want to be involved. Another reason is because I need to become more disciplined. Just like how I’m improving with jogging – instead of expecting myself to run miles a few times a month, I have been working out at the gym 3 times a week for the past several months tracking real progress. Little steps = big progress. So instead of starting a brand new journal every year, only to abandon it by June, I’m hoping to use these online Bible discussions as a way to keep my writing focused and disciplined. Just like the gym, I may miss a day here or there – but it’s still forward motion – PROGRESS! And that’s got to count for something, even if I don’t yet quite know all my plans and goals.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 39:11

1st Post!

“Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault.”

~ Louisa May Alcott, Little Women